Apology: How to Say Sorry the Right Way

We all get things wrong. An apology can fix harm, restore trust, and stop a small issue from becoming a big one. This guide gives clear, practical steps for saying sorry—whether it's to a friend, a colleague, a student, or a wider audience.

When to apologize

If your action or words hurt someone, you probably should apologize. If you missed a deadline, broke a promise, spread wrong information, or caused embarrassment, an apology matters. Public figures, schools, and companies may need to apologise publicly when their mistakes affect many people. A quick check: did someone feel worse because of what you did? If yes, offer a sincere apology.

Apologising early helps. Waiting often makes things worse. But don't apologise just to move on—make sure you actually understand the harm and mean it. A rushed or fake apology can erode trust more than no apology at all.

How to apologize — 6 clear steps

1. Own it. Start with a plain statement: "I was wrong" or "I made a mistake." Avoid weak language like "if I offended you." That shifts blame.

2. Be specific. Say what you did: "I missed our meeting and didn’t let you know." Naming the harm shows you get it.

3. Say sorry. Use the words "I’m sorry" or "I apologise." Keep it simple and direct.

4. Explain briefly, not excuse. A short reason can help (e.g., "I lost track of time"), but don’t turn it into a list of excuses.

5. Offer to fix it. Ask what you can do: "How can I make this right?" or suggest a clear step you’ll take.

6. Change your behaviour. Say what you’ll do differently and follow through. Actions rebuild trust faster than words.

Example for a friend: "I’m sorry I missed your call. I forgot we planned to talk and that was thoughtless. Can we reschedule tonight? I’ll set an alarm so it won’t happen again." Short, honest, and offers a fix.

Example for work: "I apologise for the error in the report. I misread the figures and that caused the delay. I’ve corrected the numbers and will double-check future reports before sending them."

What to avoid: don’t deflect, compare, or turn the apology into blame. Avoid “I’m sorry if you felt that way” — it sounds like you’re blaming their feelings. And don’t add a long list of why it wasn’t fully your fault.

Public apologies should follow the same rules—ownership, specific harm, apology, repair, and change. Be concise. Be honest. The public watches for sincerity and follow-up.

Apologising isn’t weakness. It’s a fast way to fix relationships and keep things moving. Try the steps above next time you need to say sorry. You’ll likely find it works better than you expect.